A slow fast

Rabbi Dr. Jana L. De Benedetti

When I think of fasting, I think of Yom Kippur. The fast begins before sundown, and continues for about 27 hours, since it doesn’t end until there are three stars in the sky the following night. There are five fasts: no food, no drink, no bathing/anointing, no sex, and no leather. We debate at my house whether no bathing includes not brushing teeth. We debate about whether no anointing includes no deodorant. There are no debates about drinking or eating. My students always giggle when we say “no sex.” That is obviously because any mention of sex makes students giggle. I usually tease them and say, “It is just one day – you can do without for just one day.” I have been known to be one of those people who wear my loveliest white dressy outfit (white is the color of purity and is traditionally worn on holy days), and even my white robe for conducting services – with cloth sneakers. In fact, I feel weird when I wear artificial leather shoes, in case someone may think that if the Rabbi is wearing “leather” shoes, they should be able to as well.
I do not think about the fast as a punishment – or even a hardship. Everyone has had at least one occasion when they have been so engrossed by whatever they were doing – reading a book, playing a game, spending time with friends, etc. – that they lost track of time, and kept going straight through meal time. I feel that on Yom Kippur my attention is on spiritual things – and I am so engrossed in the spiritual that I am not thinking about the physical needs.
There is also a different interpretation that says, given that our focus is on the spiritual, we are in some way “practicing” for death. We wear white as if we are wearing a shroud. We have no need to eat, or bathe, or put makeup on. We refrain from wearing leather so that we are not exploiting living creatures for our own sake. In fact, not having leather soles, makes us literally more “grounded” because we can feel the ground better – making us more aware of “dust to dust, returning to the ground.”
To be honest, I don’t like thinking about practicing for death. It is a symbolic way to remind us that we are guided to repent one day before we die. Yom Kippur is a day of Atonement, a day of Repentance. It is arguably the holiest day of the year (it is in a neck-and-neck battle with Shabbat/Sabbath for most important holy day). By the end of the day of fasting, praying and repenting, we hear the Shofar call, and feel that we are starting with a clean slate – like a white piece of paper (to match our white clothes). Fasting makes the feeling complete. Once we are done, we are starting over in many ways.
I do often wonder why we use the word “fast” for something that is so slow. Once it is over, most people feel like it went by quickly, and they could keep fasting – it’s not so difficult. Thankfully, we are commanded to break the fast at the end of the day – just like we are commanded to eat sufficiently well beforehand to be able to survive the fast. It is not about physical suffering. Fasts are about getting an opportunity to focus on the spiritual, and then taking what we have learned and going forward with life.