Really? But how?

Rev. Elaine Burleigh

Dave Ramsey would love the first part of Romans 13:8 -- "Owe no one anything…". Many churches are offering Dave Ramsey's thirteen-week Financial Peace University to help people do exactly that -- "owe no one anything!" Or, to use Dave's terminology, "get out of debt!" But keep reading Paul's letter to the church in Rome and we hear Paul advocating a much more profound kind of debt -- a moral obligation to love one another. Truth be told, paying off all my creditors and staying out of financial debt is a cake walk compared to the kind of debt Paul says is a must for all followers of the way…

Does Paul really expect me to love the guy who just broke into the church and stole my brand new laptop computer? Really? What about that church member who just barged into my office and cursed at me…again…for something she imagines I did or didn't do? Got to love her too? And what about the… Well, yeah, there are quite a few names on my list of Hard to Love. So what do I do with them? I know how to love them in the abstract, because after all they are children of God. So I know how to pray for them. I know how to smile at them and say nice things to them. But mostly, I know how to avoid them…because I don't like being cursed at or berated for not living up to their expectations. But something tells me that Paul expects more...

Scott McKnight says there are two sides to this debt of love, and neither of them are "abstract." First, he says is "the side the active engagement". So, loving one another requires me to spend time with them and help them! Oh, this is going to painful. Second, he says, is the side of "active avoidance: avoid doing things that will wound or wrong or harm the person." Well, of course. But that would be so much easier if the "Hard to Love" people lived by the same rules. Then McKnight suggests that the more we know a person, the more we know what to avoid and what not to do. Yes, but…

I suspect that each one of us is among the "walking wounded." We all carry the scars of old wounds. Some of those wounds are fresher than others. Some are closer to the surface than others. And some are more easily irritated, so that a simple "good morning!" can rip open that old wound and before you know it you are on the receiving end of unexpected anger. In circumstances like these, what does it mean to "love one another?" And, how? How do I keep my cool when someone attacks without provocation? I can't. I can't. I can't. Not unless…I've done the hard work of healing my own wounds. Not unless I have first myself enough to look into the darkness of my own soul and pick up each wound, one at a time. Not unless I have first trusted Christ enough to hand each wound over to his loving arms, knowing that he will take the wound and heal it and transform it into a strength. Then when I stand in front of the Hard to Love person whose own woundedness is exploding all over me, I can say to myself, "I recognize that pain. Once it was my pain. "